Saying Goodbye

Today was an emotional day. It is the best of times. It is the worst of times. The moments I have had with my mother these past few weeks have been some of the best of my life. But it is so difficult to say goodbye. Short of Divine intervention there will be a day very soon where my mom is no longer responsive to words. Soon after that she will pass on to be with Jesus.

Today was a day of potential goodbyes.

A very dear and special relative of my mother stopped by this morning. Circumstances were taking her away from my mother for a few days and she wanted to make sure she said goodbye. The exchange between these two women was precious. After a lifetime of memories together they made a plan to see each other in heaven. My mom's relative told my mother to expect her in heaven, she believes in Jesus. My mother responded by encouraging her to pursue two things in the years ahead. (1) Read about Jesus in the bible. Get to know Him. And (2) Find a little group of women to meet with often to find encouragement and support in life and in Jesus.

These are words to live by and are consistent with my mother's way of living.

My mother also said goodbye to my eldest daughter, Camille, today. Camille turns 4 on January 12th. They might see each other tomorrow, but we just don't know. My oldest daughter has a very special connection with her grandmother. They love to play together. Hide and seek. Coloring. Reading stories. Talking. All are things that they take great joy in when together. My mom has been an amazing grandmother to both of my girls. I am thankful for their relationship.

Before getting time with Camille my mother told me that being a grandmother is one of the greatest highlights of her life. "There is nothing quite like your first grandchild, there is just something special about it."

Camille, like her grandmother, has a very tender and caring heart. She crawled up on her grandmother's lap today, gave her a big hug and handed her a torn and ragged blanket, her most prized possession on earth. She gave it to her Grandmother to sleep with and to be comforted by. Needless to say, my mother burst into tears and, with a smile, told my daughter that sometimes you can make someone so happy that they can do nothing but cry. They hugged each other and after pictures, and time with Anna, Camille asked if she could help grandma go back to sleep by laying down with her. This she did. I love children. They are so genuine and without pretense.

Many of us have been preconditioned to hide our emotions or to have a stiff upper lip. The exchange today between my mother's relative and with Camille reminded me, once again, that the most valuable things in life are invisible. They are rooted in the relationships that we have with one another. There is no greater joy (or pain) that can be felt that when in relationship with another. Death brings both of these feelings in spades.

Thanks to all of you for loving my mother through the years. You have helped make her a very rich person indeed.

Steve

It's hard to follow up such a beautiful expression of Corrines day and the truth written in Steve's words with the practical aspect of Corrine's physical death. There is sometimes shame in having to be reliant on someone else to care for you and being physically unwell. Often someone's health is talked about in vague terms. I am trying to be sensitive, but I also want to be completly honest.

Corrine has not been eating for quite some time and is only drinking approximately 1.5 cups/ day. Her body is in the process of shutting down and dehydration is a natural part of the process. Today Corrine decided on a cathater to help eliminate the possibility of accidents. It also has the added bonus that she won't be forced out of bed. Corrine is getting used to it, but still finds it a nousance. Corrine's breathing will continue to become slower and may become labored. We will be prepared to give her oxygen starting tomorrow if it will help her to be more comfortable.

-Angela