Hard Night, Peaceful Day...

Corrine had a hard night. Her body is changing, and it's frightening her a little. Sometimes it's harder for her to breathe. Her chest feels tight even though the oxygen level in her blood blood is normal. Due in part to this anxiety we had a harder time controling her pain.

We called the nurse at around 2:30 am and she stayed on the phone with us for nearly an hour while we did what she suggested. She helped assure us we were giving the right medication at the right time. We gave Corrine doses of oral pain medication as well as medication to relax her and help control nausea.

We also prayed a meditative prayer we've practiced at different times. It repeats "Lord Jesus Christ have Mercy on me." The consistency of a meditative prayer helps relax and calm all of us. We don't have to think of the 'right words' to say. It encourages us to acknowlege our need for God and that He is merciful. Last night it gave us all a small measure of peace.

We ended with the Lords prayer:
Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...
When we reached the end it held even more meaning than before when we said together:
...Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven!

Corrine was able to rest in relative peace the majority of the morning. The nurse paid us a visit and we are well prepared, with oxygen and a new medication to help dry mucus caught in her throat. She is losing some of her ability communicate her needs clearly and she may be slipping into a deeper sleep. We are taking it one step at a time... Trusting the best we can.

I read a journal entry I wrote on a family vacation we took in December of 1997. It read "I found I couldn't solve the world's problems in one sitting, or my own either (although I wouldn't call them problems, but challenges). Anyway, as I was reading and writing I decided on a key verse that I would keep in my pocket the entire trip... literally.

Dueteronomy 31:8

"Know the Lord goes befor you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged."

I think I'll stick that verse in my pocket once again.

-Angela