I was honerd to give my mother's Eulogy at her memorial service. It was powerful to reflect on her life. There is much to be learned from it.
Below is the text of my speech. Maybe it can serve as a catalyst for your own reflection during this time of grieving.
Steve
In Memory of Corrine Leoni
January 5, 1941 – January 22, 2009
I want to begin by saying thank you to all of you. You have cared for my mother in ways unimaginable during her lifetime. Don, I especially want to thank you for the faithfulness, tenderness, love, and companionship you offered my mother these past 13 years. You two were meant for one another.
Thanks also to those who have offered extra support these past few weeks, especially my sister, Angela, Maxine Patterson, and my aunts Pearly, Lois, Ruth, and Eunice. I am so glad we were not alone.
It is a great honor to offer some words of tribute and possible comfort to you in honor of my mother, Corrine Leoni. It is, in some sense, a daunting task. In many ways I know my mother better than anyone, and in some ways not at all. But on one thing we will all agree: My mother was quite a remarkable woman.
Corrine Veryl Kirkpatrick was born in Wichita, Kansas January 5, 1941. She was the youngest of 5 siblings and grew up of very modest means. In fact, throughout her 13 year marriage to Don, they had a little competition. They would each tell stories in a vain effort to win the coveted title of “poorest Kid growing up”. The verdict is still out. There is no clear winner.
Mother graduated high school and shortly thereafter attended Friends University, not far from home in Wichita, KS. Upon receiving her undergraduate degree she applied to and was accepted into the University of Northern Colorado where she earned her Master’s degree in Teaching.
This is where the relationship with my mother begins for many of you. This is when she moved to Denver to take a job teaching elementary for Jefferson County Public Schools. She met my father, a Captain in the USAF, in the late 1960’s at an event hosted by Calvary Temple. After a long courtship Paul finally proposed and they were married in 1970.
By 1975 it would be easy to argue that my mother was on top of the world. She was married, a mother of two beautiful children, and was on a grand adventure living in Germany with her husband Paul Hoke who was working on the “Constant Keystone” project, a project that was designed to unite the command of all NATO land and air forces across the continent of Europe. Before leaving the states she had earned a masters degree and worked for one of the most prestigious school districts in the United States: Jefferson County Public Schools.
But all this was about to change. I once asked my mom if she ever wanted to know what the future held. She replied to me that she would prefer not to, for if she knew what the future held the joy of the present might be taken away from her and she might not have the strength to live on. Sometimes the weight of the future is just too much to bear.
My father was killed suddenly on September 26th, 1975 as a passenger of a Sikorsky helicopter that inexplicably crashed in Northern Germany on a routine mission. My mother was at home, sick with mono. I was 2 years old. My sister was 6 months. Within one day of being informed of her husband’s death my mother returned to New Carlisle, Ohio to bury her husband and be cared for by his family.
The next few years were difficult. She eventually relocated to Arvada, Colorado and moved into the home that she and Paul bought brand new in 1970. She was a single mother of two. Within the next couple of years she lost her father to cancer, her brother to a drunk driver, and her mother-in-law to cancer. My mother’s most valuable assets were quickly disappearing, namely the relationships she had with those most dear.
But she endured and did not lose faith. For those of you that knew my mother well, she never wavered in her faith and did not become bitter. She instead viewed adversity as an opportunity to grow. I often think of James where he wrote on endurance: “My brothers, count it pure joy when you are involved in every sort of trial. Realize that when your faith is tested this makes for endurance. Let endurance come to its perfection so that you may be fully mature and lacking in nothing.”
I tell this story because it is the start of a remarkable journey for my mother and the beginning of the legacy. My mother was handed every reason in the world to disown her faith and to become bitter with the injustice of her situation. But her faith never relented.
The years following were filled with the best and worst of life. The ups and downs were very high and very low. She fell love and was married to Dick Peterson in 1980. He was a very kind and gentle man that not only loved her, but also loved Angela and me as well. He retired in the early 80’s and they were able to build a dream home together before he died of pancreatic cancer in 1989. I was 15. My sister was 13.
Yet another opportunity to become bitter, but she kept her faith. While Angela and I reeled in anger and the feeling of abandonment, my mother deepened her faith, seeking a deeper intimacy with God and with others. She thought she was going to break at times and even tried to run away from it all one night. Thankfully, she was forced to turn around just past the Morrison exit when she remembered that she was responsible for leading her group of girl friends through bible study that evening. She showed up, bared her soul, and her friends gave words, prayers, and support that got her through these difficult years.
We all survived and God was faithful. He never left her and provided for her in every way possible.
I would argue that the last 13 years of her life were some of the best. A definite high. She fell in love with and was married to one of the best men I have ever had the privilege to know, Don Leoni. They were married in 1996.
My memories, like yours, are filled with Don and Corrine being “out and about”. In any room, in any situation, they brought life together. They were able to attend the weddings of Eric and Hope, Angela and Rod and mine to Susanna. They welcomed the birth of four grandchildren, Jack, Luke, Camille and Anna. Corrine delighted in her grandchildren, these four and Yalisa, and was the type of grandma who got down on the floor to play Legos, in the sandbox to play trucks and build castles, and was just as quick to put on a Tierra and play princess dress up with the girls. One of my favorite memories is my mother putting a mesh butterfly cage on her head and playing “bee-keeper” with my girls.
In October, I had the opportunity to travel to Honduras with Don and Corrine, as part of a partnership through Agros with a group of 24 families fighting to pull themselves out of poverty. This experience opened Corrine’s already compassionate heart to the suffering around the world and impacted her perspective of her own journey. She expressed to me that she understood now and wanted to grow deeper in relationship with the poor.
Shortly after Thanksgiving she was diagnosed. Definitely another low. While suffering from cancer, she shared with me a very interesting thought. She shared that she finally understood what her husband Dick had said during his fight with cancer – “why not me?”. Most people ask, “why me”. Yet, we are not entitled to a life with out suffering. All suffer at some point in their life. This we have in common. What we have, what my mom had, is the comfort and presence of God in the midst of our suffering. Through life experience and this journey to Honduras, my mother’s heart had been softened and opened to the pain of the world and to others. I would argue that her heart had become more like Jesus, the one who suffered that we might live life more abundantly now and in the life to come.
My mother’s favorite verse was written to the Romans by the Apostle Paul. He wrote “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
My mother embraced this verse for the entirety of her life. God gave her the faith to believe it represents the truth which, in turn, gave her the strength to go on during difficult times. Ultimately, not only did she find life for herself, but she gave life to us all.
I think you will all agree that our lives are better for having known Corrine. Our perspectives and world views are better for having known Corrine. Our faith is stronger for having known Corrine. She left a legacy of relationships and a web of love among us.
I want to close with a dream I dreamt on the night of her death. Please, bear with me. I think there is great truth in it. I dreamed that I was at her death bead and as she was dieing she gave birth to a beautiful child. In her last breath she asked if I would take it and care for it. I was filled with emotion, tears running down my cheeks. I promised that I would.
Given my mother’s age I thought a dream about my mother having a baby was a bit weird. So I gave it thought and have concluded that it is a powerful metaphor. My mom lived an inspirational life. She influenced many in her simple pursuit of Jesus. In her death we have all been able to reflect on her life as well as our own. We have been inspired by her courage and spirit throughout this time.
Through my mothers death I believe she has given birth to a legacy. Like childbirth, this legacy has not come without great pain, struggle, anticipation, and joy. This is a legacy which I think she would like us to have. It is our choice whether or not we choose to accept this new “child”. For some of us, we have been reminded of our faith and it is in it’s infancy. For others, our faith has grown to be mature and complete. It is our choice whether to accept the gift that my mother labored her entire life for. It is the same gift that Jesus and the saints have also labored for. It is our job to care for the gift. To nurture it. To embrace it until we reach maturity in Christ that others might enjoy life to the full as well.
I want to leave you with the two thoughts my mother gave to me in her last days. I asked my mother what advice she would give to my generation and the generations behind me. She replied with two things:
1. Keep it Simple (Live simply)
2. Pursue relationship with Jesus
We remember Corrine today as a woman who embraced all of life, the downs along with the ups, who loved God and loved others. Who loved me. Who loved you. We honor her as wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend and beloved daughter of God.
Thank you and God Bless.
January 5, 1941 – January 22, 2009
I want to begin by saying thank you to all of you. You have cared for my mother in ways unimaginable during her lifetime. Don, I especially want to thank you for the faithfulness, tenderness, love, and companionship you offered my mother these past 13 years. You two were meant for one another.
Thanks also to those who have offered extra support these past few weeks, especially my sister, Angela, Maxine Patterson, and my aunts Pearly, Lois, Ruth, and Eunice. I am so glad we were not alone.
It is a great honor to offer some words of tribute and possible comfort to you in honor of my mother, Corrine Leoni. It is, in some sense, a daunting task. In many ways I know my mother better than anyone, and in some ways not at all. But on one thing we will all agree: My mother was quite a remarkable woman.
Corrine Veryl Kirkpatrick was born in Wichita, Kansas January 5, 1941. She was the youngest of 5 siblings and grew up of very modest means. In fact, throughout her 13 year marriage to Don, they had a little competition. They would each tell stories in a vain effort to win the coveted title of “poorest Kid growing up”. The verdict is still out. There is no clear winner.
Mother graduated high school and shortly thereafter attended Friends University, not far from home in Wichita, KS. Upon receiving her undergraduate degree she applied to and was accepted into the University of Northern Colorado where she earned her Master’s degree in Teaching.
This is where the relationship with my mother begins for many of you. This is when she moved to Denver to take a job teaching elementary for Jefferson County Public Schools. She met my father, a Captain in the USAF, in the late 1960’s at an event hosted by Calvary Temple. After a long courtship Paul finally proposed and they were married in 1970.
By 1975 it would be easy to argue that my mother was on top of the world. She was married, a mother of two beautiful children, and was on a grand adventure living in Germany with her husband Paul Hoke who was working on the “Constant Keystone” project, a project that was designed to unite the command of all NATO land and air forces across the continent of Europe. Before leaving the states she had earned a masters degree and worked for one of the most prestigious school districts in the United States: Jefferson County Public Schools.
But all this was about to change. I once asked my mom if she ever wanted to know what the future held. She replied to me that she would prefer not to, for if she knew what the future held the joy of the present might be taken away from her and she might not have the strength to live on. Sometimes the weight of the future is just too much to bear.
My father was killed suddenly on September 26th, 1975 as a passenger of a Sikorsky helicopter that inexplicably crashed in Northern Germany on a routine mission. My mother was at home, sick with mono. I was 2 years old. My sister was 6 months. Within one day of being informed of her husband’s death my mother returned to New Carlisle, Ohio to bury her husband and be cared for by his family.
The next few years were difficult. She eventually relocated to Arvada, Colorado and moved into the home that she and Paul bought brand new in 1970. She was a single mother of two. Within the next couple of years she lost her father to cancer, her brother to a drunk driver, and her mother-in-law to cancer. My mother’s most valuable assets were quickly disappearing, namely the relationships she had with those most dear.
But she endured and did not lose faith. For those of you that knew my mother well, she never wavered in her faith and did not become bitter. She instead viewed adversity as an opportunity to grow. I often think of James where he wrote on endurance: “My brothers, count it pure joy when you are involved in every sort of trial. Realize that when your faith is tested this makes for endurance. Let endurance come to its perfection so that you may be fully mature and lacking in nothing.”
I tell this story because it is the start of a remarkable journey for my mother and the beginning of the legacy. My mother was handed every reason in the world to disown her faith and to become bitter with the injustice of her situation. But her faith never relented.
The years following were filled with the best and worst of life. The ups and downs were very high and very low. She fell love and was married to Dick Peterson in 1980. He was a very kind and gentle man that not only loved her, but also loved Angela and me as well. He retired in the early 80’s and they were able to build a dream home together before he died of pancreatic cancer in 1989. I was 15. My sister was 13.
Yet another opportunity to become bitter, but she kept her faith. While Angela and I reeled in anger and the feeling of abandonment, my mother deepened her faith, seeking a deeper intimacy with God and with others. She thought she was going to break at times and even tried to run away from it all one night. Thankfully, she was forced to turn around just past the Morrison exit when she remembered that she was responsible for leading her group of girl friends through bible study that evening. She showed up, bared her soul, and her friends gave words, prayers, and support that got her through these difficult years.
We all survived and God was faithful. He never left her and provided for her in every way possible.
I would argue that the last 13 years of her life were some of the best. A definite high. She fell in love with and was married to one of the best men I have ever had the privilege to know, Don Leoni. They were married in 1996.
My memories, like yours, are filled with Don and Corrine being “out and about”. In any room, in any situation, they brought life together. They were able to attend the weddings of Eric and Hope, Angela and Rod and mine to Susanna. They welcomed the birth of four grandchildren, Jack, Luke, Camille and Anna. Corrine delighted in her grandchildren, these four and Yalisa, and was the type of grandma who got down on the floor to play Legos, in the sandbox to play trucks and build castles, and was just as quick to put on a Tierra and play princess dress up with the girls. One of my favorite memories is my mother putting a mesh butterfly cage on her head and playing “bee-keeper” with my girls.
In October, I had the opportunity to travel to Honduras with Don and Corrine, as part of a partnership through Agros with a group of 24 families fighting to pull themselves out of poverty. This experience opened Corrine’s already compassionate heart to the suffering around the world and impacted her perspective of her own journey. She expressed to me that she understood now and wanted to grow deeper in relationship with the poor.
Shortly after Thanksgiving she was diagnosed. Definitely another low. While suffering from cancer, she shared with me a very interesting thought. She shared that she finally understood what her husband Dick had said during his fight with cancer – “why not me?”. Most people ask, “why me”. Yet, we are not entitled to a life with out suffering. All suffer at some point in their life. This we have in common. What we have, what my mom had, is the comfort and presence of God in the midst of our suffering. Through life experience and this journey to Honduras, my mother’s heart had been softened and opened to the pain of the world and to others. I would argue that her heart had become more like Jesus, the one who suffered that we might live life more abundantly now and in the life to come.
My mother’s favorite verse was written to the Romans by the Apostle Paul. He wrote “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
My mother embraced this verse for the entirety of her life. God gave her the faith to believe it represents the truth which, in turn, gave her the strength to go on during difficult times. Ultimately, not only did she find life for herself, but she gave life to us all.
I think you will all agree that our lives are better for having known Corrine. Our perspectives and world views are better for having known Corrine. Our faith is stronger for having known Corrine. She left a legacy of relationships and a web of love among us.
I want to close with a dream I dreamt on the night of her death. Please, bear with me. I think there is great truth in it. I dreamed that I was at her death bead and as she was dieing she gave birth to a beautiful child. In her last breath she asked if I would take it and care for it. I was filled with emotion, tears running down my cheeks. I promised that I would.
Given my mother’s age I thought a dream about my mother having a baby was a bit weird. So I gave it thought and have concluded that it is a powerful metaphor. My mom lived an inspirational life. She influenced many in her simple pursuit of Jesus. In her death we have all been able to reflect on her life as well as our own. We have been inspired by her courage and spirit throughout this time.
Through my mothers death I believe she has given birth to a legacy. Like childbirth, this legacy has not come without great pain, struggle, anticipation, and joy. This is a legacy which I think she would like us to have. It is our choice whether or not we choose to accept this new “child”. For some of us, we have been reminded of our faith and it is in it’s infancy. For others, our faith has grown to be mature and complete. It is our choice whether to accept the gift that my mother labored her entire life for. It is the same gift that Jesus and the saints have also labored for. It is our job to care for the gift. To nurture it. To embrace it until we reach maturity in Christ that others might enjoy life to the full as well.
I want to leave you with the two thoughts my mother gave to me in her last days. I asked my mother what advice she would give to my generation and the generations behind me. She replied with two things:
1. Keep it Simple (Live simply)
2. Pursue relationship with Jesus
We remember Corrine today as a woman who embraced all of life, the downs along with the ups, who loved God and loved others. Who loved me. Who loved you. We honor her as wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend and beloved daughter of God.
Thank you and God Bless.
Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThat was a beautiful eulogy. Thank you for posting it. I have a question regarding Don. I only have an Arvada address for him. Is that correct, or does he live in CA now? My email is marthajill@gmail.com. Thank you. Martha Farina
ReplyDelete